Tuesday, October 31, 2017

tower of papers

no words

I have no words
no words that can heal
all that is broken
or for what they feel

no, I have nothing
for this sort of pain
but we can keep loving
We will love in their name

And though some are broken
We will not be scared
You can't take away kindness
You can't take away care

But I have no words
that can help with the pain
My heart’s with the grieving
because what could I say.

—dodie clark


It took so much time, finally, success and escape from september. It has been raining heavily most of the days, and so do my heart, it kept raining heavily too. And for now, the last day of october, nothing much have change, patiently waiting for november to appear, in hope that better things are coming.

"please don't cry"

dear, perhaps you can change it to

"you can do it, hwaiting"
"you are doing great until now, keep moving forward with better!"

it is okay to feel sad sometimes, but you have to keep looking forward and slowly gather all of your strength to walk in the future. Even in your small steps, your effort will make it bigger.

that would sound much better 😊

" you build me up. "

I should write more I guess, it's a way to solve and also can be the book for myself to read over and over again without feeling bored. I am not too great with words, but sometimes, my own words can makes me feel so alive, in my own world, cheering my own self.

"—and it took most of heart to follow the flow, my heart in raining heavily too."


Allah knows when you do something for someone and they don't thank you.
He knows when you get up to pray in the early hours of the morning 
while the rest of the world is asleep.
He knows when you hold your tongue instead of being rude or disrespectful.
He knows when you don't argue with your parents even though you know you're right.
He knows when you do the right thing when no one is watching.
He knows when you make du'a for your enemies instead of hurting them with bad words.
He knows when you do the smallest of good deeds, so small even you forget about it.
Allah knows.

"It is a journey, make it great to be the experience that you have been through successfully."


Hug them.
If you can't hug them, hold them.
If you can't hold them, don't say a word, just look at them.
If you can't look at them, try to make them acknowledge at your existence.
Tell them you're sorry-even you're the one at fault.
Tell them you're there for them.
Tell them they're worth more than they think they do.
If they're being sulky, it's okay,
they too deserve to feel a little love.
Tell them they deserve all the time and space in the world to be sad, angry and grieve.
Give your attention, make them feel wanted.
I don't know about you, but that's a great way in cheering someone up.

"You're feeling burn out and discouraged, but you've made it this far and that's really brave—"

I love to write a lot, even at the smallest things—when I bought new cactus, how lai guan lin from wanna one makes me want to fangirling again (trust me I have tried to not being obsessed with k-pop), and when mum surprise me with my favorite vanilla caramel along with red velvet cake from one of my favourite cafe ( 😱😍 ) and I cry for that because she never did that before, got excited when sister text me says, "open this website, pick something that you want," 💕 oh-my-sister-so-great-and-thoughtful-sometimes. —and there's a lot more, if I continue, it would be my entire life story. would you believe me?

I am so grateful


I am so happy

with writing, it can make someone feel so great.

Monday, October 23, 2017

more appearance in #noteoftheday

failure is totally an option.
It's actually one of two main options in most scenarios.
Instead of lying to yourself about the possibilities,
choose instead to brace yourself for any outcome and be ready to learn from the experience.
Your creative life is a journey and every step is moving you forward.

—Adam J. Kurtz

( currently in love with all of his work—quotes )

Saturday, October 21, 2017

another speech

—Would I do a great job?

"I can't promise for a wonderful and beautiful story lines, but you can enjoy and have fun while reading me."

That would be great enough.

I've made it.

I've made it.

I've made through it.

It has been such a long time, a year to add on is incredibly long and have been so hectic. I've been waiting for the day to come, where I can finally put a final full stop for all of the crazy—up and down—roller coaster. The seventeen years old of a girl has been the past, it is finally to make more things better.

I can't lie, I need to agree to those who says that the more your age increase, the more you need to go through. I am still young, a lot of things to discover but that does not prevent me from those uneasy feeling, getting hurt, receive happiness from favourite people, got excited when sisters ask to pack for trips, bought a lot of cute notebooks and did not use most of them,   👀   yeah—

But all of things that happens, it somehow gave me strength and motivation for certain reasons—to move forward with the experiences that I've bring along, even if I would lack in something, I would try the best that I can—not to be label as perfect but to be label as the best after tons of practices and hardworks.

hello, october girl.
[ seventeen-october ]

Sannah Helwah dearself, thankyou for getting stronger day by day, your toughness to survive every single day in your life would be pay off with something even more better, in shaa Allah, put your trust to Allah because He knows what is the best for you.

Moga sentiasa dalam lindungan Allah hendaknya, aamiin.

keep smiling,
stay positive.

the photo of cake is actually a surprise from family when I've just got back from trip with my second sister, alang, as soon as my sister and I arrived home, they are like "surrrrrrpriseeee!~" aww shoo shweet 💕 and after photo session with fam I just go straight to the bed,   👀  okay—

both picture—the left and the right is my dinner with my close friends, ainaa and yayan at mamak and I bring together the birthday cake to give to them (okay I think I've always kept some of my birthday cake to share with my friends, woa, I just realized about that).

okay, that's great, sharing is caring.

loving this for some reasons~

that's it, a short yet teary (it is only me) speech from myself for my birthday.
happy belated birthday, dear me.

comment down below your birth date, would love to know!

Thursday, October 05, 2017

would you be so kind?

one of   [ you ]   ;

Would You Be So Kind?

I have a question
it might seem strange
how are your lungs
are they in pain

cause mine are aching
think I know why
I kinda like it
you wanna try?

oh would you be
so kind
as to fall in love with me, you see
I'm trying 
I know you know that I like you
but that's not enough
so if you will
please fall in love
I think it's only fair 
there's gotta be some butterflies somewhere (wanna share)
cause I like you
but that's not enough
so if you will
please fall in love with me

I'll write a story
be in my book
you got to join me on my page
at least take a look

oh, where are your manners?
you need some time?
let's swap chests today 
that might help you decide

Oh do me a favour
Can your heart rate rise a little

—dodie clark

more of dodie clark ;

main channel — [ here ]
other channel (vlog) — [ here ]
twitter — [ here ]
instagram and snapchat — doddleoddle