tititp malam

aku kini mengatur langkah
mengubah jarak,
semampu jauh aku—seperti yang kau mahu
dengan semua yang kau tutur,
sedang aku cuba menghapus setiapnya
kau lihat aku diam tanpa maju lalu makin tegar menghiris jiwa senipis yang kau boleh.

tanpa yang pernah kau sangka, dalam langkahku masih penuh doa
pilihan diri yang kau telah pilih
katanya ini yang bahagia tercipta
heh, semoganya.

tajam aku mengena semoga kau merasa juga.

tiada bicara, tiada juga balah
bukan pilihan jiwa, tapi sudah dihiris
bukan salah sesiapa untuk dituju
terkena jiwa, parah menanggung
biar—

__
tanpa sedar, dititipnya setiap malamku
curahan jiwa laju mengatur langkah pena
menulis bait kata mengasari setiapnya helaian kertas.

__
entah mengapa, yang dulunya aku beria riang bagi segalanya juga
kini aku semakin tenang.

dan sedarinya aku dalam setiap titipan doaku seusai setiap solatku,
aku bermatian,
dipenuhi jurai air mata,
ya
Allah maha mendengar.

ketenangan tak terucap aku kecapi,
ya tuhan,
ini bahagia yang kau beri,
ini yang aku perlu lalui,
ini petunjuk-Mu yang begitu indah,
ini terbaik yang tercipta.

ya tuhan,
ketenangan terhingga ini,
semakin aku mahu memilikinya.

__
dan aku titipkan setiap malamku,
agar yang lainnya tidak bakal melaluinya perit yang dirasa.


tampal di jiwa














dan aku failkan antaranya yang pernah kita cipta di laman yang bermakna—

3:15 am

when your days turned bad and you're feeling lost, your heart feels empty while your tears keep falling down and you feel your chest is in a real pain but somehow you believe in Allah's perfect plans for every single human in this world, keep your chin up, smile beautiful 🌹


couldn't ask for more because I am so grateful for everything. Family and close friends give endless kind of support to show how sincere they are and to make me feels that I am important to them, well said that Allah will replace all of your sadness or bad things in life with happiness and you just have to wait for it, put your trust in Allah. 

___

some people choose to leave after years of together and some would choose to leave in a real short time of knowing—some built long speech of reasons and some just leave things unsaid but somehow both of it take the most part in heart, silently breaking apart. 

Sometimes, I do feels myself in such a weak condition which I only want to lying down on my bed without doing anything and sometimes I really want to cry a river just to let things go free from my mind and scream loudly and sometimes when it is raining I would keep staring outside through the window and let myself drown into it, I truly hate these kind of things which is feel like I am just standing still and let the bullets hurts myself—but alhamdulillah, somehow I prefer to keep myself busy with housework, planting, keep meeting close friend and hang out together, keep myself more busy for Allah too, which is kind of therapy for me 😍

Always remember that there will always Allah's perfect plans for you, as a muslim, we should plan as many as we can for life and let the rest of things to Allah.

as reminder for myself and also everyone who can accept this;
block negativity and don't let it lead to depression, it is somehow can kill. 


may your upcoming days would be beautiful and fills with lots of happiness 🌸

LAZADA | REVIEW

this is random, it is not a sponsored-post or any related. Just want to make this entry after receiving a parcel that I've order from Lazada.

I order a sunglasses. I just choose the one that I want with of course at the range of affordable price and without checking which brand it is or how the packaging is like which is basically me. yeah.
But the packaging is better than expected, first expression was like 'wuu'
I know it would come with a box of course to cover it up and also a pouch to put the sunglasses, but I don't know, it looks so great, like branded stuff ahaha~ (so jakun and teruja)

the box

this is so nice with the label of the brand ; Hepidem Wolf



okay yes, yes I am using my phone to take all of my photos 😎

this is not my first time to shop at Lazada, so far it is great 💖
yeay!

The Tale of the Three Whisperers



Once upon a time, there were three wise siblings. The eldest is Doubt, followed by his two younger brothers; Mind and Heart. Heart was so loved by his two elder brothers that whatever Doubt and Mind did, it would always narrowed down to one resolution : to protect Heart.

But most of the time, Heart had a decision of his own. He knew all along that he was fragile and breakable, but Heart was the type of person to put others first before him. He didn't mind breaking, as long as the others can be whole. This noble act is the very hammer that crush him every single time.

Then one day, a man came to the three wise siblings to seek for an advice.

The million-dollar question : Should I?

Doubt whispers ; no.
You'll stumble and fall in the middle of the road
You'll get confused in the intersections
You'll scrape your knee on the tarmac of difficulty, and you won't have the strength to make it to the end.
You'll break Heart, and you cannot bear the anogy that comes with it.
The price is too unaffordable.
No. Doubt whispers again.

Mind whispers ; no.
Doubt could be right,
All these difficulties ahead of you,
will exceed your breaking point.
And I know yourself well, hitherto it is the mind who controls you.
Don't risk an obvious failure.
I won't risk Heart, so precious
but carries so much pain in the cracks of his vessels.
That once Heart breaks, the pain unleashed will of course weight you down on you next.
No. Mind whispers again.

But...
Heart whispers : yes.
Don't you remember me, young man?
I am so used to be broken.
All your life has been a journey to search to search for the missing pieces of me.
Give it a try, my friend.
You'll either find the pieces of me, or
you'll break me down even further.
I don't mind both.

Tell my beloved brothers that no matter how hard they try to protect me -
The Heart is meant to wound and heal.
And I have a little friend right here to strengthen me;
The one you call Hope.

Now you know why some decisions you make are completely against your mind and doubt? Yes, blame Heart. Heart can be a little bitch, so persuasive, so irresistible but in the end it is Heart that you will follow.

Because Heart is your very own existence, your very own core, your very own soul's door.


*
source from twitter, I bet this is one of the story from a book but I don't know the tittle of the book, would love to know if you can share it :)